[Connor's been staring off into the distance, not quite looking at anything. He remembers this, but not like this. Not with this clarity. Not without a filter of unreality that made it seem more like something he imagined than something that really happened.
There's an entire summer he doesn't remember very well, because he's pretty sure he only managed to get through it by disassociating the entire way through and even though nobody else would be able to, Connor can tell from which scars are freshest that this is the summer before his senior year. This is during the summer he only kind of remembers in bits and pieces: the burn of oxygen leaving his lungs and not being replaced, tearing pages out of his sketchbook and setting them on fire, reading a single book over and over.
You're so innocent, mi cielito. You're too innocent for this world.
He remembers this, remembers Miguel, but it doesn't seem real. He's spent so long thinking it was just something he'd imagined so often that it became like a memory. That it almost felt like something that happened, but apparently it did.]
I . . . [Connor trails off, not even sure how to word what he should say.] I thought I made that up.
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There's an entire summer he doesn't remember very well, because he's pretty sure he only managed to get through it by disassociating the entire way through and even though nobody else would be able to, Connor can tell from which scars are freshest that this is the summer before his senior year. This is during the summer he only kind of remembers in bits and pieces: the burn of oxygen leaving his lungs and not being replaced, tearing pages out of his sketchbook and setting them on fire, reading a single book over and over.
You're so innocent, mi cielito. You're too innocent for this world.
He remembers this, remembers Miguel, but it doesn't seem real. He's spent so long thinking it was just something he'd imagined so often that it became like a memory. That it almost felt like something that happened, but apparently it did.]
I . . . [Connor trails off, not even sure how to word what he should say.] I thought I made that up.