Sure, most people don't want to kill their friends. But don't fault yourself for saving your own life, my guy. In the end, you're all you've got.

[How do handwringers manage to get by? How are they not destroyed by the weight of what they've done? How can they let themselves hurt like this?]

Sometimes, you're all other people have got, too. Maybe you needed to survive that ordeal in the grand scheme of things. If he had to die to make that happen, who has the right to pass judgement on you for the decisions you made?