I had no such excuses. I likely could have sought out another course of action or at least caused less devastation but my own hatred and bitterness refused to allow it. What I am and what I have done...all of it was by choice. The failure of a healer, and the vengeance in repayment for my expulsion were both decisions made by my own hand.

[Ardyn pressed a hand to his face at the sight of whatever was behind Xion, as if he was briefly uncertain what face he even showed her.]

What you speak to now is no more than a single drop of water in an endless black ocean. 'Ardyn Lucis Caelum' can no longer be found save only through a matter of freak chance, and will surely be gone once more before long. 'Ardyn Izunia' is all which truly exists now. As I am now, I don't-...I would not wish anyone to be hurt when that devotion backfires, and I myself would not want to see yet more betrayal when all of you realize you swear companionship and camaraderie only to break such oaths once the monster resurfaces.