[She huddles up next to him, and his arm reflexively goes down around her shoulders, and she's too small to be one of his brothers but too big to be one of his cats, and he doesn't have anything to compare with the nameless, warm feeling that tightens his lungs. Suddenly he's fifteen again, crying into his mom's shoulder. He's sixteen, pushing Osomatsu off and saying he's too old to be touchy-feely with anyone anymore. He's seventeen, and Karamatsu won't let go of his arm, no matter how loud and cruelly he yells.]
[Except something happened, something changed, and here he is now, the adult with the child at his side. Seeking his protection and warmth, just because he offered it to her. For a brief second, he wonders -- is this what it felt like to be his mom, his older brothers, when he wanted and needed them?]
[For the first time, Ichimatsu is floored with what it's like, to want to be someone worth relying on that badly. To have a reason right here. To be able to protect her from loneliness, or ghosts, or the cold.]
[It's embarrassing, super fucking embarrassing, but tears prick the corners of his eyes and he wipes at them with a sleeve, reaching up to ruffle her hair the same way Osomatsu sometimes does his -- but gently.]
Ah? Maybe that's just because I wear a hoodie. You could try it sometime.
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[She huddles up next to him, and his arm reflexively goes down around her shoulders, and she's too small to be one of his brothers but too big to be one of his cats, and he doesn't have anything to compare with the nameless, warm feeling that tightens his lungs. Suddenly he's fifteen again, crying into his mom's shoulder. He's sixteen, pushing Osomatsu off and saying he's too old to be touchy-feely with anyone anymore. He's seventeen, and Karamatsu won't let go of his arm, no matter how loud and cruelly he yells.]
[Except something happened, something changed, and here he is now, the adult with the child at his side. Seeking his protection and warmth, just because he offered it to her. For a brief second, he wonders -- is this what it felt like to be his mom, his older brothers, when he wanted and needed them?]
[For the first time, Ichimatsu is floored with what it's like, to want to be someone worth relying on that badly. To have a reason right here. To be able to protect her from loneliness, or ghosts, or the cold.]
[It's embarrassing, super fucking embarrassing, but tears prick the corners of his eyes and he wipes at them with a sleeve, reaching up to ruffle her hair the same way Osomatsu sometimes does his -- but gently.]
Ah? Maybe that's just because I wear a hoodie. You could try it sometime.